Affluent Student

Three days left in the year… you’re likely still taking some time off and have probably had enough of the after-Christmas sales and returns of things that didn’t fit or wasn’t quite what you asked Santa for. You have big goals and aspirations for the next year, maybe to exercise more or to stop smoking. All of the popular web sites have articles floating around about resolutions, and in this post we’ll talk about whether or not children should have resolutions.

For many, the New Year’s resolution is the closest thing they do that resembles goal setting. However, a resolution is no replacement for good, solid goals. Some of us place resolutions in the “things to stop doing” or “things to start doing” category, like a lifestyle change. Once you stop or start doing these things, ideally you would continue on that path. For example, it wouldn’t make much sense to stop smoking just to start up again. Goals tend to be destination driven, like losing a certain amount of weight, paying off credit cards, or building that back deck.

So, do resolutions make sense for children? Absolutely! The longer we wait to develop good, solid lifestyle habits, the harder it is to do them. If your child develops good behaviors early on, like eating healthy, exercising, reading, and manners, then they are much more likely to continue those behaviors into adulthood. Likewise, if we never teach our kids about money but at age 17 we open a checking account for them and just expect them to handle it, then that’s a train wreck just waiting to happen.

Perhaps the most important characteristic of a resolution is ownership. That being said, children may have a hard time developing their own resolutions, but are much less likely to stick to resolutions that you create for them. Younger children should simply be involved in family-wide resolutions, like taking a walk together three times per week or eating dinner together four nights a week. As they get older, your child will understand the process and have the cognitive skills to create their own resolutions, but they may still have trouble defining those targets. You may help them at this point by talking about the benefits of these good behaviors and let them walk naturally into the decision to make a resolution. Remember that ultimately they need to decide that a resolution is right for them.

Once they set their resolutions, they will need your encouragement and support to stick to them. Use gentle reminders but never make them feel bad or punish them for not sticking to a resolution. They will get discouraged and may never participate in the process again because they remember that failure so vividly. Talk to them about your own failures in this area and let them know that it’s OK to start the resolution again immediately instead of waiting till the next year arrives. As a family, you can create a resolution challenge and let everyone keep track of their progress.

Resolutions are meant to help us change behaviors. Teaching kids about the tradition of setting resolutions is an excellent way to establish the idea of behavior modification. Have fun and don’t be too serious about the process and you might be surprised about what kids come up with on their own.