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Humorous Teenage Pranks From The Trenches

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One thing is for sure – your teenager will always be up to something. That age group is always seeking out ways to push their boundaries so teenage pranks make for some great stories. I’ve got a couple of stories to share and I have omitted all the names to protect the guilty and the unwitting parents, so enjoy. You probably have some even better than these, so join the conversation and comment below!

Rolling yards is one of the classic teenage pranks. While it is frustrating to the parents, it’s also a badge of honor for the teen. At least in the South, if your yard gets rolled it’s probably because you’re popular among some crowd. But if you’re out rolling yards, don’t leave any evidence behind. A WalMart bag was found among the mess, and in that bag was a logon ID and password written on a piece of paper. Enough information was there to find out exactly who was part of the toilet paper gang – busted!

Let’s just say that teens have a curiosity for the opposite sex. I’ve heard a couple of stories lately about kids experimenting in various places – on the school bus, in their bedroom while Mom or Dad is home, and others. The funniest thing about the school bus story is that although the children were both suspended from school, they were both lauded as heroes among their friends. Hmm, not sure the kids learned their lessons from that one…

Think you’ve cut off internet access? Think again. In this story, a dad thought that he could impose an internet curfew by disabling the home router at a set time each night. This worked for one kid but not the other. You see, the neighbor’s Wi-Fi access point was unprotected so one kid simply connected to their network and kept right on surfing. But the signal wasn’t strong enough to reach the other child’s bedroom. Their big mouth, though, was the end to this little trick – once the other sibling found out about this, parents were quickly informed. Dad turned on the parental controls on each computer to cut off access at the desired time, and that problem was solved.

A whole category of teenage pranks involve being somewhere that you shouldn’t be. Parties will happen and teens want to be there. But if you put a cell phone in their hand, it’s getting to be very easy to find out where your kids are at all times. All of the major carriers now offer some form of GPS tracking to tell where all of the phones on the plan are at any time. So when a dad checked in with his daughter and she said she was at the home of one friend but the GPS locator said she was elsewhere, Dad showed up and put an early end to the night’s events for his teen. An embarrassing moment for the teen, to say the least.

Sometimes your child will live a double life – online, that is. It’s becoming more common for teens to have two Facebook profiles – one for family and one for friends. When that happens, this becomes the place where their teenage pranks are lived out online. Teens are starting to hear the message that their online reputation is important, and they don’t want their parents seeing the pictures from that party or messages from certain conversations. Those alternate profiles can be tough to find – in the case of this story, the only way it was noticed was that an unfamiliar email address popped up in the login prompt for Facebook.

My point in sharing these is more than just to provide humor. We should always be on the lookout for what your child might be up to. We can (and should) trust our children, but occasionally verifying that what they say is true will help keep them on the straight and narrow. It is their nature to test their limits and boundaries with these teenage pranks and it is up to the parents to keep those limits firmly in place.

Application Question: Are you on the lookout for these and other ways that your teen might be overstepping their boundaries?

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Technology and Kids with The Family Podcast Network

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I had another opportunity this week to be on The Family Podcast Network, Trey Gibson’s excellent show on all issues related to family. We talked about technology and I believe you’ll get some great insight from our chat. Click on the link below to listen and when you’re done take a trip over to Trey’s website and see all of the good things he has over there.

http://thefamilypodcastnetwork.com/kids-and-technology

Please share your comments and thoughts below, share with others if you enjoyed the interview, and be sure to visit the Contact Me page to find out more about our coaching services and offerings.

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What Happened to Community Parenting?

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In my youth, parents were the eyes and ears for one another where their kids were concerned. Parents trusted one another to make sure that their kids stayed out of trouble. Sadly, that trend has changed and with that I believe our kids are getting into more trouble than ever before. This post explores the reasons for this phenomenon and how we can begin to swing the pendulum in the other direction.

I think the foremost reason for this change is the loss of community. We are all so busy and so consumed with the rigors of everyday life that we no longer know our neighbors, much less the parents of our kid’s classmates. Moms and Dads both work nowadays, and coupled with the migration to the suburbs the “bedroom community” is the new norm. People spend their evenings in their homes, rarely with enough time to get all of the daily chores complete before they collapse for the night.

The second trend that has caused this breakdown is the digital age. The ease through which we can chat, or send an email, tweet, or update a Facebook status has drawn us indoors. No longer do neighbors meet and talk face-to-face or over the phone. The backyard conversation between two moms is all but history. What has been sold as the way to make the world smaller has become the way the world has grown more isolated. Our neighbors are now strangers, and nobody trusts strangers.

The third reason that contributes to the loss of community parenting is litigation and lawsuits. A small percentage of our population is quick to point blame and pull the trigger at any hint that a lawsuit might lead to some financial reward. Even well-meaning individuals with good intentions are often targeted by these people. The old saying goes that no good deed goes unpunished. This has created an environment where people would rather not get involved than risk being sued, so they turn the other way instead of getting involved.

Finally, parents by and large believe that their kids can do no wrong. Or, at least they don’t want to admit their child’s wrongs to someone else. Any accusation by another parent is quickly met with defensiveness from the accused’s parent. So, parents turn a blind eye to what other kids are doing as long as their kids aren’t involved.

I don’t think it’s a lost cause even with today’s hectic schedules. Here is what I think we can do to restore the partnership with other parents and know what our children are up to:

  1. Go to school meetings. Get involved in as many school activities as you can as a parent.
  2. Talk to other parents who have kids involved in the same activities as your child.
  3. Pick up the telephone. Get the phone numbers of these parents that you connect with in steps 1 and 2 and don’t be afraid to establish and maintain an open line of communications with other parents.
  4. Trust but verify. If your child is going to someone’s house, call in advance to see if the parents will be home and if they are OK with it.
  5. Give permission. By now, if you’ve done steps 1-4, you have established trust and rapport with other parents. Extend to them the confidence that they can correct your child within your guidelines during your absence, and if that isn’t working to let you know.
  6. Remember your youth. As a child you know that you got away with a lot of things and you know how the child’s mind works. Children today are no different; always be on the lookout for any wayward behavior in your child and others.
  7. Follow your instincts. If you sense that something is wrong, go with it. Do not be afraid to talk with another parent. You might be protecting more than just your child by bringing something to their attention.

The African proverb says that it takes a village to raise a child. With all of the distractions and temptations that face our kids today, I fully agree. As busy parents, we simply cannot be everywhere or know everything that our children are up to so we need help from others. How else can we restore community parenting? In what ways is it working for you?

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Does Your Teen Need a Curfew? Seven Reasons I Say Yes!

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As we move into the teen years, your child will want to go out into the world with their friends. Discussions of bedtime tend to wane, and they are replaced with curfew times. It is the position of many teens that they are responsible enough to come home at a reasonable time. It is the reality that so many parents have seen that this simply is not the case. Here is another opportunity to make your child mad for their own good, and in turn reduce their chances of getting in trouble, getting hurt or otherwise messing up their life permanently. Impose a curfew. Here are my reasons:

  • Many municipalities around the nation have already put a curfew law in place for children under 18, and some have a second or third tier of law that applies to those under 14 and/or under 16. Out past the city’s curfew, and caught, and your child faces a fine, community service, or both.
  • Traffic fatalities. According to AAA, the hours between midnight and 4 am have the highest percentage of traffic fatalities compared to the number of people on the road.
  • Peer pressure. When kids are out together, their strongest motivator is the approval of their peers. The longer they go into the evening, the more likely they will encounter someone who is doing something that they shouldn’t be doing.
  • Rest and sleep. The teenage body needs lots of sleep because both body and mind are growing. Staying out all hours of the night leads to irregular sleep habits, mood swings, and poor performance in school.
  • Setting of boundaries shows that you care. Teens might not like it, but they need their parents to behave like parents now more than at any other time in their lives. A curfew is one of those healthy requirements that not only show you care but also sets the pattern that most adults don’t stay out and party all night either.
  • More opportunities to get into trouble. As most businesses close down by 10 pm, there are fewer things for your child and their friends to do so they come up with things to do on their own. Opposite-sex encounters can lead to sexually-transmitted diseases or unwanted pregnancy, both of which are life-changing consequences.
  • Lack of judgment. This one plays back on several of the reasons mentioned. Your child thinks that they are invincible; that’s part of the teenage psyche. They underestimate how tired they are and they overestimate their restraint and self-control. Likewise, the chances of falling asleep at the wheel, falling victim to peer pressure, or some other hazard of impaired judgment is greater in teens.

As your child graduates high school, there will be another conversation about curfews as long as they live in your home. Stay strong on this one parents – for all of the same reasons this applies to younger teens, your college student or young working adult needs to adhere to a curfew as well. While they live in your home, your adult children need to adhere to your house rules also.

As Facebook and other social media hangouts have entered our home, you might also consider electronic curfews. Even though your child might be home the fact that they can hang out with their friends online all night is now a reality. In addition to losing sleep, webcams and other interactions present many of the same dangers that are mentioned above through permanent damage to online reputations.

Your teenager, although adult-like in appearance, is still a child inside. They need your protection, your guidance, and your wisdom. A curfew is just another one of the tools that you can use to raise your child in a loving manner. Parents, what sort of curfews do you set and at what age? What penalties to you impose for breaking curfew? Please chime in and let others know your experiences!

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Making the leap

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This post is for parents of newly-minted sixth graders. Across the US, the vast majority of school systems make the transition to middle school as students go into sixth grade. In the next month, your child will enter this strange new world. This is a critical time for the students and parents alike. For students, this often means the merging of two or more elementary schools, which means that there will be a lot of new kids in their classes that they may not know. Sixth graders are notoriously smaller than their eighth-grade counterparts, which can create a lot of stress for the younger kids. Where they were the big kids just last year, now they are just the new set of victims for the older kids. Sixth graders also have their first daily experience of changing classes and teachers which brings about its own challenges. There are new clubs, sports, and activities for the kids to get involved in so their social network will begin to expand rapidly. They will experience things, good and bad, that they would not have heard in elementary school. We want to shelter and protect them. I have a third grade daughter and my wife and I are already talking about what we’re going to do when she reaches middle school. Although I have two boys who have already navigated middle school successfully, I can’t help but worry about my daughter.

So, what can you do to help your kids have the best experience possible? Here are a few ideas; I’ll attempt to expand on these in future posts.
1) Take every opportunity that you can to be at school. During open house, meet-the-teacher, volunteer opportunities, fundraisers and other events requiring a parent or chaperone, you can be there to show your child and their teachers that you care.
2) Get contact information for each of your child’s teachers and establish a communication schedule. This is extremely important for ensuring that you are fully aware of what’s going on and where your child may be struggling.
3) Do more than the minimum required. Times may be tough in your home, but things are especially hard in public schools around the nation with limited budgets and overworked, underpaid teachers.
4) Know your child’s friends. Get to know their parents. Be the house that all the kids want to come to and you’ll always know what your child is up to. Ask questions.
5) Monitor, limit, or better yet do not allow online social networking activities.
6) Be on the lookout for changes in demeanor, personality, and behavior. If grades begin to slip, dig in to find the root cause immediately.
7) Allow your child to make more choices but always keep the final say-so.
8) Remember that your child is still a kid. They need time for play and unstructured activities. Don’t over-commit them or yourself.
9) Stand up for your child for when they are right, but also hold them accountable when they are wrong. Teachers aren’t evil and they aren’t picking on your child; they simply don’t have time to do so.
10) Don’t talk badly about your child’s teachers in front of your child. Some are better than others, admittedly so. However, to talk bad about the teacher gives the child the green-light to make excuses, disobey, or otherwise disrupt the teacher’s classroom.
11) Hang in there, even when all hope seems lost. Let your child know that you believe in them.
12) Don’t give in just to be the cool parent. You’ll repeatedly hear that so-and-so gets a cell phone, gets to stay out till 11, gets to be on Facebook, blah, blah, blah. Set and maintain your own boundaries and do not let someone else do it for you.
13) Most importantly, be there for your child. Give them your time. Talk about their day, help them with their homework, really take time to listen.

You might ask how all of this plays into getting money for college. The answer is plenty. If your child is successful and learns winning habits and behaviors in middle school, then that will translate into high school when the grades really count. What you do now is extremely important – so please do it for the sake of your child.

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