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Kids at summer school

Summer School Is A Good Thing

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Summer school has gotten a bad rap. Back in my day, summer school meant that you didn’t do so well during the school year and had to make up a class or two. For most folks, that’s probably still the way summer school is perceived today. However, there are several compelling reasons to consider summer school activities for your child, and in this post we’ll take a look at some of those.

1) College courses offer a head start on college. Summertime is a great opportunity for your high school junior or senior to pick up a course. Local community colleges and universities have programs for kids this age to get some of their introductory courses out of the way. In addition, summer terms at college are usually a little more relaxed because the number of students on campus is way down. Taking a course in the summer is also a good way to get introduced to the college classroom.

2) High school credit can be earned ahead of its scheduled time. If college classes aren’t your goal, but you want to take advantage of the summer break, then why not use summer school to get an upcoming class completed ahead of time? Any class offered can generally be taken as long as you meet the prerequisites and pay the required fees to attend. This just might get you out of school early during your senior year, or if you play it properly you might even graduate in three years instead of four.

3) Remedial programs aren’t just for those kids who failed a subject. Maybe your son or daughter struggled with the concepts in one class and might benefit from an accelerated approach. Some schools also allow a grade received in summer school to replace a poor grade received during the year, thus boosting your grade point average.

4) Put together you own creative summer school activities at home. Attending summer school can be a pain because of the hours and rigid schedule, plus it costs to attend these classes. Doing it yourself keeps it flexible and allows you to make it fun. Here are four ways to get started:

  • There are so many resources available online for parents to create their own program and help their kids get a step ahead for next year. To find ideas like this, use search topics like “fourth grade worksheets” or “lessons for fourth grade” but tailored to the grade that your child is going into. You can also add specific subject areas to your searches if your child is struggling in a specific area.
  • You could also search for field trip ideas and take your kids on day trips during the summer to experience some of these places.
  • Find a few crafts and tap into your kid’s creative side. The big box stores like Lowes and Home Depot often have free projects on Saturday mornings for kids. And Pinterest and other mom-friendly sites contain thousands of ideas that you might use.
  • Encourage reading through summer library programs. I posted on this last year and my daughter is currently doing this for her third consecutive year. It’s a great way to read without the pressures of study and homework.

Summer school isn’t just for underachievers anymore. Nor is summer school strictly defined as a formal program any longer. If the summer break is used strategically as part of an overall academic plan, students can move ahead of their peers both literally and figuratively. And at home, it’s just a good idea for parents to do some kind of activity during the summer break to keep their kids motivated towards learning.

Application Question: What can you do to keep academics and learning alive for your child during the summer months? Comments are welcome!

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Summer Activities For Your Child, Part 2

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In my last post I explored some of the more structured summer activities that are available for kids. Many of these are very time-intensive and require a level of commitment to participate, and others can cost quite a bit of money as well. As we wrap up this two-part series in today’s post, I’ll look at some activities and ideas that can be tailored to suit you and your child’s needs if you aren’t ready to commit to a formal program.

The local library has summer reading programs geared generally towards younger kids. These are also free and provide your child with some motivation to meeting the goals set out by the program. And it’s a great fallback to have when there’s rain. A way to bond with your child – you can participate along with your child and set a good example for them. Check out the post that I wrote last year on this topic.

Summer is also an excellent time to volunteer. Your teens in particular are probably building their resume for college applications and many of the activities listed above are always looking for volunteers. There are also community service projects and mission work opportunities that your child can participate in and do some good for others. Check out “Twelve Service Opportunities For Your Child” for the list that I compiled earlier this year.

For families who have the luxury of a stay-at-home mom (SAHM), you can get creative without breaking the bank. Run a mini neighborhood day camp with other SAHMs. Each home can take turns being host for the day and run different games and activities, giving the other moms a break for the day. Or explore your city with your child – attractions that are right in our own back yard are often the least visited by local residents. Many of these have free admission, so pick out two or three of these for a day and pack a picnic lunch.

Finally, it might be time for your child to work. You might cringe at the idea but the reality is that someday they need to learn what work is all about. Summer is an excellent time to introduce work without interfering with school. I named off a couple dozen work ideas in “Twenty-Six Jobs for Teens” back in February. And the best paying job for older teens just might be in the scholarship search process, discussed in this post.

However you decide to handle summer activities, be intentional about it. Without a plan, you’re likely to spend more money on a last-minute activity that isn’t exactly what you had in mind for your child. And remember, kids need time to be kids. Part of their growth and maturation process is in unstructured play and free time where they have to be creative in how they spend that time.

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Summer Activities For Your Child, Part 1

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It is that time of year again – the kids will be out of school in a couple of weeks and you don’t know what to do with them. They are so busy during the school year so maybe they need a break. But on the other hand, after about three weeks they will drive you crazy. In this first post of a two-part series we’ll talk about different types of activities for the summer and help you decide what might be best for you and your children.

I think that activities, regardless of the time of the year, should be something that both child and parent agree upon. Nobody really wants to be “that parent” who pushes their child to do everything. Nor do you have the time to put your child into every last thing that they want to do just to keep them occupied. They should have space in the summer to be free and be kids without obligation for you and for them. So, in deciding on these activities, look for happy-happy – ones that make you happy and ones that make them happy.

Some activities might be mandatory if your son or daughter is involved with sports or music. Football teams have summer workouts, cheerleaders have their camps, and high school bands hold band camps or summer rehearsals to prepare for the halftime show at the football games. If you haven’t been involved with either of these before, it is very time consuming and you need to know the schedules well in advance to know when you can plan family vacations.

Camp not otherwise affiliated with school activities is another option that you might consider. There are the ones that we most likely grew up with affiliated with church or with scouting. There are others that have no such affiliation and would be more of a traditional camp offering. And the world of summer camps has expanded to include niche offerings targeted to specific sports, musical activities, performing arts, computers and technology, and more.

You may choose from day camp or overnight options, and the camp that you choose might be local or halfway across the country. Be sure that you do your research and understand what the various camps have to offer. And know your child before you send them off; if they aren’t ready to handle being away from home for an overnight camp then don’t send them. It will be a miserable experience for them.

Vacation Bible School, or VBS for short, is another great option for your kids. These are generally free, last two to three hours per day for one week, and most churches host this every year. This is a nice fit for those with a tight budget and a religious affiliation.

Speaking of budget, it is easy to justify the cost of these activities in the name of doing something for our kids, and thus spend thousands of dollars on something like this. Don’t be fooled into thinking that the more something costs the better quality it is. The only consideration for cost should be whether it fits into the budget that you’ve established for summer activities.

Next time around, we’ll talk about a few activities that are more individualized and less structured. In the meantime, what other ideas do you have for summer activities for your child? What is the right amount of activities for your child to be involved in for the summer?

Please share your comments and thoughts below, share with others if you enjoyed this post using the Share buttons, and be sure to visit the Contact Me page to find out more about our coaching services and offerings.

 

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Enjoying your children during the holidays

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The kid inside of us just loves this time of year. The parents and adults among us all have parties and activities along with the preparations that go in to making this time of year special. Even with all that there is to do, I don’t know anyone who isn’t excited about the holidays. It is a time of fun and events, family and friends, and giving and reflection on the past year. Our kids are out of school for the holidays, and most everyone has some extra time off to spend with family. Here are a few tips to ensure that you get the most out of this time together.

  • Leave the past behind, and let any grievances go. Life is too short to carry a grudge around with you.
  • Get out the board games in the closet or pick up some new ones. Games bring out the unique qualities of everyone involved so play several together. Team up for some interesting combinations of personality and attitude!
  • Serve together. The local homeless shelter, orphanage, children’s hospital, or home for abused women needs all the volunteer help they can get this time of year. Serving also teaches gratitude and humility to your children.
  • Leave the chores till next year. I used to take every year and work on something around the house, but while your children are at home be there with them.
  • Pull out the family photo albums. This is GREAT when your older children are bringing home boyfriends and girlfriends.
  • Go see the Christmas lights in your favorite neighborhood. For anyone with a case of the blues, this is sure to cheer them up.
  • Take a day trip or overnight excursion. You might be tired of your own four walls and everyone might be getting cabin fever. Go somewhere that offers some neat winter outdoor activities that you can’t normally do at home.
  • Cook or bake together. After the turkey and ham leftovers that everyone will quickly grow tired of, pull out that recipe book and try out some dishes that you’ve always wanted to create. Involve the kids in choice and preparation also.
  • Play some kid games. When is the last time you played tag, hide and seek, jumped rope or built a fort? Your children will always remember the Christmas that you ran around in the yard with them.
  • Unplug! Leave the cell phone on the nightstand and check Facebook after everyone has gone to bed. No matter how discreet you think you may be, others know when you’re paying homage to the electronic masters and that you aren’t fully engaged with them.
  • Share some stories. This can be a very memorable experience. I don’t have any of my parents or grandparents any longer and I wish that I had learned more about their past to share with my kids and future grandkids. Using the photo albums, ask a question about an interesting picture and let the memories flow.
  • Give thanks. Tell others, including your children, how special they are and what they mean to you.
  • Go to church together. Nothing we do during the holidays compares to the reason for the season, Jesus Christ. Make sure that your children know how important his life is to all mankind.

Whatever you do, make the holidays a little different and special in your home. There will be messes and at times it will seem a little chaotic, but that’s just what makes life fun. Your kids will be grown soon enough, and someday you’ll cherish every holiday memory you have and your heart will ache for times past. Christmas is all about giving to others, and the best gift you can give is to be fully present with your family this season. I hope that everyone has a very Merry Christmas.

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Bad grades and Christmas – a tough combination

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If your kids aren’t out of school for Christmas already, they soon will be. They are so looking forward to the break and for the presents under the tree. You too are (probably) looking to spend some time with them at Christmas. Coming home with them is their mid-year grades. Hopefully your children are doing well in school, but what if grades are an issue? How can you handle that over the holiday season without ruining their Christmas and yours?

First, keep in mind that you, Santa, and everyone in your family should be giving gifts with no strings attached. This means that no matter how your child performs in school that you would have given them the gift anyway. Since the gifts are given unconditionally, your child should be able to keep their gifts regardless of their grades, and in my opinion they should be able to enjoy those gifts over the holiday break.

By allowing your child to keep and use/play with their gifts while they are on Christmas break, you may be worried that you’re sending the wrong message to them. So, instead of taking away their gifts, maybe you take away another toy or device that they love to do throughout the entire year. That one can be tough also, because you may be tempted to take away video game usage but they just got a Kinect or some other great game. Or maybe they got an iPod so you can’t really take away their computer because they need it to setup and sync the iPod. An alternative may be to restrict their usage and time on these devices.

You might be tempted to take away some activity that they would otherwise be involved in. Maybe they were planning to go on a trip with their church or other organization, perhaps they play some recreational sport or it might be that your family is planning a ski trip or something similar. Taking away or limiting their involvement in these are certainly candidates for consequences, but you will have to evaluate the message that you’re sending. You also want to pay attention to how the consequences might affect the rest of the family, particularly if you’re in the ski trip scenario. A moping teenager is certainly a downer to any occasion, and if you’re paying money to travel then you really don’t want to waste those dollars.

Another option is something like extra chores. A little hard work never hurt anyone, and if you live in an area where there’s snow and ice then a good snow shoveling might get your message across. Or, maybe you have leaves to rake or some other work to do that your children normally don’t participate in. This may well be your best option because you don’t impact the rest of the family or activities and your child can still enjoy the benefits of the holiday season.

In summary, I’m not sure I gave you any good options, just things to consider. That’s why I titled this post the way that I did – it is a tough combination. Just keep in mind that your child is watching everything that you say and do. If you promised a consequence, then following through on that consequence is much more important in the long run than being lenient. As hard as it may be to have your child miss out on things during their time off, you send a very important message to them when you take their grades seriously. And remember that positive reinforcement is much more powerful than punishment, so don’t forget to celebrate their successes in school also.

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Overcommitted kids

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100 years ago, children and families generally had a very simple life.  Many of the jobs were still agricultural in nature, and that meant most families farmed their own land.  Children in these families attended school and worked on the farm.  Television didn’t exist, few homes had electricity, and radio was still a new discovery that had not yet made its way into homes.  Only the most affluent families could afford to send their children into activities, and most of the ones available were structured around the arts like music, drama, and literature.  Life really was much simpler. 

Fast forward to today.  The “luxuries” that I mentioned above are not only staples in each home, the children of today take these things for granted.  I’ll share a story – my daughter, who is eight, goes to her grandparents house and doesn’t understand why she can’t pause live TV or play back episodes of Sponge Bob.  She has grown up with TiVo in the house so she too takes this technology for granted.  Kids today are more distracted by video games, computers, and television than ever before.  Parents, in an effort to get them disengaged from these electronic babysitters and to provide all they can for their children, place their children in activities like sports, clubs, music, and volunteer activities.  Many families do this in spite of the financial impact; besides the fees to sign up for these programs, supporting materials, fundraisers, uniforms, travel and the like run into the hundreds, and some cases thousands, of dollars per year for the typical family.  Time commitments can be huge; the average sports activity can consume eight hours of more per week.  Because children can’t get themselves to these activities, this further places demands on the parents available time in addition to the children and their available time.  Once everyone gets home after all of the activities of the day, children are tired and grumpy and parents are frazzled and hurried to get their kids in bed to start over the next day.  It’s no wonder our children have “contracted” the behavioral conditions of ADD/ADHD and other disorders of the last thirty years.

I fully believe that our kids do way too much today.  School is demanding for our kids.  By the time they spend seven hours in school and maybe an hour per day on homework, they have done the equivalent of a full-time job just like an adult.  If they are playing a sport, as mentioned above that is another eight hours per week of commitment during that sport’s season.  Can you honestly say that you spend an additional eight hours per week on a single hobby or activity?  Could you sustain that for very long?  If not, then neither should your child.  I would recommend that the total time they spend on structured extracurricular activities in a week not exceed eight hours.  This might mean they could take a drama and dance class together, or play a single sport, or be in Scouts and learn piano.  But there are kids who do three, four, or more of these simultaneously.  We’re wearing our kids out if this is happening.

None of these activities by themselves are bad for our kids.  It gives them exposure to different things and may lead to them discovering their true passion.  In fact, they are much better than the digital solitude of Facebook, video games, and so forth that many children lock themselves into when they get home from school.  There is a way to let them participate responsibly, as mentioned above – none of your children should spend more than eight hours a week in these activities.  Look at how much time your children are spending in these activities and manage it for their good and for the good of your family.

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Freshman do’s

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In a couple of weeks, eighteen year-olds across the country will start college. My oldest just finished his first year of college. He survived and actually completed 33 semester hours his freshman year. From his experience and mine, I’d like to put out this list of what to do in your first year to begin a successful journey.

1) Use a time budget. There are 168 hours in every week, plan how you will use them before the week begins.
2) Get involved! There is nothing more miserable than to be surrounded by a sea of folks that you don’t know. Activities, study groups, clubs, and so forth give you lots of opportunity to make new friends quickly.
3) Stay connected with your family. They are your best support system and just because you are a college freshman doesn’t mean that you have it all figured out.
4) Get help! Use the dozens of resources that the school provides for free.
5) Use up your meal plan. Typically freshmen are required to have a meal plan; use it instead of spending a lot of money eating off-campus.
6) Get in shape! Take a friend to the gym or the pool, get involved in intramural sports, or just play a pickup game with some of your new friends. Avoid the “Freshman 15”.
7) Walk or bike. If you live on campus, a car can become just something else that you have to worry about. With parking fees, gas, maintenance, and so on, having a car can be a drag.
8) Get connected! Your professors and instructors are the good guys, not the bad guys. Take time to build a relationship and connection with each one and reap the benefits.
9) Take advantage of student discounts. All around campus, stores and eateries are eager to get your business. Many have student discounts; if you aren’t sure don’t be afraid to ask!
10) Get a job! There is more than enough time in the week to succeed in school and work. Having a job in college is not a sin; in fact, it gives you a taste of what the real world will be like.
11) Be true to yourself. Don’t try to fit in or conform. There are likely thousands of students on your campus, so you will be able to find others with similar interests, values, and beliefs.
12) Get some rest! Just because you can stay up all night doesn’t mean you should. Establish and keep a regular sleep schedule. You’ll be healthier and more productive.

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College Planning – Start Early!

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Usually, once a kid reaches high school, that’s when parents begin to think about college planning. In my last post, I talked about the December 1 priority deadline for scholarship applications. That holds true for high-school seniors headed off to college next year. Usually by then it’s too late to make a difference. Grades, activities, and so forth are pretty well set by then. The best approach to college planning is to start early. In fact, what I really mean is start now!  In all honesty, most parents and students put off till the last minute any effort to secure college funding. I don’t know why they are surprised when their only remaining option is student loans.

Scholarship committees look at the full body of work that a student has accomplished at least during their high school years. A variety of activities such as extracurricular or volunteer activities will apply even further back. Students should get engaged in these activities ideally during their middle school years. That way when they reach high school they’ve had an opportunity to experience a wide variety of activities. They can also begin to focus on the couple that are most important to them and be excellent at those. I am taking a bold approach that involves the students, parents, teachers and counselors in an interactive process that begins as early as sixth grade. So start the college planning process now! The time and energy that you put in will be well worth it during the spring of your child’s senior year.

If you need guidance on how to get started planning for college, you’re in the right place. At Affluent Student I have coaching packages that can be tailored to your individual needs. Check out the Services page to find out more. In the end, those that are intentional about college planning are much more likely to reach their goals!

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