So what happens when you do all that work and get rejected by your top college choices? You have a fabulous GPA, your test scores are in the top 5%, and you have a diverse background but still get those rejection letters. One high school senior took to the keyboard and typed out her frustrations.
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The older I get the more I realize that there is a generation gap. I’m using phrases like “when I was your age” and “just wait till you grow up.” What happened, and when did I become my parents?
While I like technology my use doesn’t hold a candle to how my kids use technology. I read a headline a couple of years ago that proposed the least used app on a smart phone is “Talk” – in short, that means people use their phones for anything except phone calls. I thought that was a little bit far-fetched until this happened in my home recently.
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It’s January 2, 2013. Tomorrow I return to work after my two-week holiday hiatus. And it’s a new year. What is significant about that is the word “new.”
A couple of days ago I posted my resolutions and goals for 2013. To reach those goals, I will have to do some things differently. I have a new job that I have to grow into during 2013. I want to publish some books in 2013. I want to grow my audience in 2013. All of those will require effort.
But without changing some things that I am doing today,
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Short and simple today. The Christmas message is for all. God’s son came to Earth as a babe to become the sacrifice for our sins. Anyone can receive this simple yet profound gift.
As you celebrate with friends and loved ones, remember this message. In the end, tomorrow is all about Him. Parents, lead your kids down this path. Don’t leave this to chance that someday they may find Jesus themselves.
Glory to God in the highest, and on earth, peace and good will towards all who seek Him. (Luke 2;14)
Many blessings to all of my readers and friends at Affluent Student. I will be back at the beginning of the year with all-new content. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
I love the holidays. I love the time off and spending time with family. I love to eat, watch football, and occasionally to go out and shop. The lights and decorations are wonderful, and it all starts with Thanksgiving.
One of the challenges we’re learning to deal with is how to schedule holiday gatherings with older children. My two oldest are ages 17 and 20 this year. One is in college and the other is a senior in high school. They have activities and obligations of their own to work around. So scheduling can sometimes become a problem…
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It’s nice to be wanted. It’s a breath of fresh air. People pay attention to you. They become interested in your desired goals and direction. They do so because they begin to see you as a valuable asset that can benefit their team.
Over the past couple of weeks I’ve had the pleasure of being wanted for a new position in my company. In the end….
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Tomorrow, November 6, 2012, is Election Day. Obama versus Romney for the presidency. 33 out of 100 US Senators will be elected tomorrow. Countless other state and local elections will be held across our nation. Our civic duty is to get out and vote. You’re probably thinking from the title of this post that I’m one of those telling you to boycott the election. Some political loudmouths tell us that there are no qualified candidates so why bother to vote. That’s not the direction in which I’m headed. My post today has a completely different angle…
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Courtesy of TheMarque via Creative Commons license.
In a recent post, I talked about the value of habits and behaviors in helping me reach my fitness goals. Without the right habits and behaviors, hitting your goal is almost impossible. Not exactly a newsflash, right?
The sad part is, many of us already know what to do. We even know the habits and behaviors that we should be doing in order to reach our goals. So then why is it so difficult for us to stick to them?
I believe that it’s because there is a real disconnect between the two. Behaviors are nothing more than activities. Habits are repeated behaviors. That repetition takes the shape of a pattern in our lives.
Turning a behavior into a habit requires a level of discipline. And that’s where things begin to break down. We choose the familiar and the comfortable because these new behaviors require change.
If our children emulate what they see in us, then you can quickly conclude that our habits have generational implications. As we improve our habits, what our children see begins to change as well. I believe it’s as important for them to see how to change a habit or introduce a new one as it is for them to observe good habits. If they can learn a strategy on how to adapt, then they learn what continuous improvement is all about. In the remainder of this post I’ll teach some tips you can use to develop a strategy for success.
We all know about good habits and bad habits. The goal is to either eliminate the bad, or replace the bad with the good.
From “Power of Habit” by Charles Duhigg, pg 276
Charles Duhigg, author of the book The Power of Habit (Amazon affiliate link), provides a simple formula, shown at right. The routine is the habit itself. The secret lies in the cue – what starts the routine? What puts our brain into automatic mode to do these habits without thinking?
If we can identify the cues for good, healthy habits, we can eliminate the ones for the bad habits. Simple enough, right? But I think there’s more to it, and Duhigg hits on several of these in his book.
Have a clear picture of your goal. If you don’t know where you want to go, it’s almost impossible to identify the right habits to get there. Goals should follow the SMARTY rule – specific, measurable, active, realistic, time-based, and YOUR goal. Find pictures, images, or whatever helps you envision what life will be like when you reach the goal. This makes the goal seem more attainable.
Take away temptation. Temptations are cues that entice you to perform bad habits. For example, if you are working on a book but have a hard time focusing, shut off your internet connection to remove that distraction.
Remove the obstacles. Identify what causes you to slip into the old habits and take those away. If having chips in the pantry makes you eat them, then get rid of the chips. Don’t wait till the bag is empty, do it now!
Put it in your face. Decide what you need in advance to perform the habit and put it where you can’t miss it. If your habit is to go walking every day, put your walking shoes where you can’t miss them. This also means putting reminders on your calendar, sticky notes on your mirror and visual triggers in places where you can’t miss them.
Get some accountability. Almost nothing is as powerul as having to answer to someone. Get a partner who’s working on the same goal that you are. Then, schedule and keep regular accountability sessions. Better yet, use that time to perform the habit or behavior together. This works great for exercise habits. Duhigg talks about the power of group accountability in meeting goals.
Measure progress. Keeping a simple calendar where you check the days that you did the behavior is great. It becomes another visual cue that you’re making progress. The more you do it, and the more check boxes that you fill in, the more powerful the effect.
Reward yourself. It’s very easy to give up on big goals, especially if you plan to deprive yourself of something the whole way through. Give yourself little bonuses for making progress.
All of these steps are ways to set yourself up for success. By nature, we all follow the laws of inertia. We get comfortable with what we know and are reluctant to change. That’s how habits are created in the first place. These tips make things happen because it makes the new behaviors more convenient. Because we tend to follow the path of least resistance, we have to remove any resistance to our desired goals. Make the paths to your success straight and wide through implementation of these tips.
Discussion Question – What steps have you taken to make success easier in your life?
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The Hunger Games. Arguably the most popular movie of the year. Ranked by USAToday as number two on their best-seller book list for 2011. Over 159 weeks on the USAToday top 150 book list, and still holding at number 14 this week. But it’s not for us, and here’s why.
Before you line up your comments and responses to this, please understand that I have seen the movie but not read the book. My wife and I were interested to see what the buzz was all about, so we rented it a couple of weeks back. She and I watched it, but our kids did not. Now that you know my level of exposure to this series, here are my thoughts.
It is an intriguing story and, from what I understand, an outstanding read. According to reviews on Amazon, The Hunger Games is the kind of story that just won’t let you put the book down. The disturbing part about this is that it takes place in a not-to-distant future America. And that it uses children as the unwitting pawns in a fight to-the-death match. That’s where I begin to have my concerns with the book. My three biggest reasons follow.
Kids are killing kids. That was enough for my wife and me. Why could it not be adults? Is that the factor that made the book series so popular? I understand that the author, Suzanne Collins, was attempting to address such issues as poverty, starvation and oppression with her book. But using kids as the pawns in this futuristic society is what put it over the top for me.
The books in The Hunger Games series are targeted at kids. Scholastic.com, the publisher of The Hunger Games series, has these books in the grade 6-8 stack. Parts of this story (in the movie) are glamorized to the point that this kind of activity could be found appealing to readers. And I’ve heard more schools putting this book on their reading lists for English. Should my daughter have to read it someday as part of a class assignment, we’ll address it at that time.
Society finds that this storyline about kids killing kids is entertaining. If you take a look on the internet, site after site is capitalizing on The Hunger Games and the books of the sequel. And it goes beyond book and movie sales. There are dolls and action figures of the heroes and villains from the movie. As we approach Halloween, there will be thousands of little girls dressed like Katniss and little boys dressed like Peeta, the lead characters in The Hunger Games. While there’s nothing wrong with any of this per se, I only mention this because it seems that the author’s purpose is lost amidst all of this buzz. Society has latched onto the storyline, not the cause.
Again, before you go off on me, I TOTALLY understand that this is fiction and is written to entertain an audience. My hats off to Suzanne Collins for writing such a masterful series that seems to do just that. Plus there are thousands of works that have gone before this one which also take on some sort of disturbing theme like this. I just don’t know that I’ve seen one involve kids in this manner before.
One last thought. If the author’s intent was to expose some of society’s problems, then there is no reference to this in any of the books. Though I’ve not read them, I have taken a look at the front and back matter of the books in the series hoping to find something that directs readers to some additional information about these issues. Nothing that I can find cites any real-world statistics or websites where readers can find out more information on how to help. At best, the domain hungergames.com redirects to a site that states the movie has partnered with the World Food Programme and Feeding America to take donations. However, the site clearly states that this is a partnership with the movie.
I am in no way condemning or judging anyone who reads this series or attends the movies. This is the great part about America – we’re all entitled to freedom of speech, freedom of the press, and the right to consume either as we please. Collins has done nothing wrong in writing this series. Should my kids decide that they want to read the books or see the movies, then that’s alright. My sons can consume it now, and my daughter can when she gets older (she’s currently nine).
As parents, before you turn your kids loose on either the books or movies, think about it and plan to talk with them about what they’ve seen or read. We should be actively doing this anyway – that’s what an intentional parent does.
The Hunger Games is a huge hit. It’s just not for me, and I won’t be back for the sequel. And for full disclosure, none of the Amazon links from this article reference my affiliate relationship with Amazon, so if you click through and purchase an item from this post I will not benefit in any way.
Discussion Question – What is your opinion on this? Does The Hunger Games go too far or is it just another sci-fi movie to be enjoyed?
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My dad used to say “Can’t ever do anything you didn’t try.” If I don’t make an attempt, then I certainly won’t succeed.
But what excuses do we make for not getting into the game?
I’m too short, too old, not pretty enough.
I need more education, I don’t know how.
I come from a bad family, my dad left us.
I don’t have the money, the time, the energy.
I need to be responsible, to take care of my family.
I have to do the right thing, the safe thing.
These are excuses, not reasons.
So how do you fix this? How do you break the habit? How do you begin to turn obstacles into opportunity?
Almost a year ago, I published a post simply titled “Responsibility.” In that post, I referenced a book titled QBQ by John Miller. You can pick up this great book through my affiliate link at Amazon. Here is an excerpt from that post:
Miller’s premise is captured in the subtitle to his book – by asking the right questions we can eliminate blame, complaints, and procrastination. He tells us to change questions around, always beginning with “What” or “How”, include “I” in the question, and focus on action. By doing so, each question becomes a natural call to action from within.
By doing this you move from the passenger seat in life to the driver’s seat. You take control of the situation and the magic begins to happen. No longer are you dependent on someone else for success. Even if you don’t hit all of your goals and objectives as quickly as you would like, you get to enjoy peace of mind knowing that YOU are in control.
Continuing to use the same old excuses keeps you as the victim. While being the victim may have been the mantra of your past, it doesn’t have to be the theme for your future. Unless, of course, you allow it to be.
Our kids may not have the mental capacity to do this alone. That’s why we have to be extremely careful about the language we use around them. They need to hear positive, affirming language that gives them the confidence to believe they can be great. Otherwise, we run the risk of driving them right into the same old stinking thinking that has kept us hostage all these years.
You owe this to yourself. You are missing out on so many opportunities by telling yourself that you can’t. And you owe it to your kids. What if they grew up hearing positive language where “can’t” has been eliminated from their vocabulary?
Want to see an example of this in action? Check out this guy. I caught this last night on the show So You Think You Can Dance. If there was ever anyone who had an excuse not to dance, it’s Jean Sok. But that’s not stopping him.
Application Question – What’s stopping you? What is the script that you keep playing over and over in your head that holds you back?
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